I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
