Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize