Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
