My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
