just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
