The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
