I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
