i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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