not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
