If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The ass gains better be worth it
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
