What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
