I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
