It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
