Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
