You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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