is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
