do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We are all done wearing pants today
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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