I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
