the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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