they need to just BURY HIM!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
