I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
