and you said cock pushups were impossible
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
