Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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