I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
