If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
