that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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