dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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