If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
