i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
