He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
