I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There r osticjed everywhere
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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