I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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