You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
