I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
