I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she peed on how many people?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
