i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
40s are totally the cure
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
