Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
