you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
