Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
