Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
