my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
