There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
