so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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