Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
