Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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