I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
