I wish I only lived at night.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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