How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
