yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
