yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
