if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
